Monday, August 29, 2011

How to Cure the Hiccups

Did you know that if you stick a Downy sheet in your pants pocket, mosquitoes won't come within a mile? That an unwrapped bar of soap under your covers cures Restless Leg Syndrome? That having someone hold your ears while you drink water stops hiccups? That you can have 25 inch biceps and a 25 inch waste, just like the person on the label, if you use Freak Of Nature protein powder? That if you hire Joe Sharpguy, a broker with We-Timers Investments, you can time the stock market perfectly?

Now Google "fabric softener for mosquitoes", "bar of soap for restless leg syndrome", "hold ears for hiccups", "protein powder", and "timing the stock market" and you'll find plenty of anecdotal evidence to support every one of these notions...

Beginning with the latter:

If Mr. Sharpguy isn't a trillionaire (cause he would be if he could time the market) don't even think about it... The next time you see or hear someone on national tv make a prediction, Google him/her... I promise (I've done it a hundred times), if he has a track record (other than the one you'll find on his website), you'll ask yourself "what is that network thinking, parading this joker around as a market-timer?" But don't be so hard on the network, they're just catering to the needs (naivet

1 comment:

  1. Very entertaining, at the same time informative as always.